


Frozen In Fear

by Toni_Lynne



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 13:52:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12936648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toni_Lynne/pseuds/Toni_Lynne





	Frozen In Fear

When Amara returned John as a gift to Dean she had meant well but the transition hadn’t been easy for anyone. John didn’t fit in with his boys and the life they had created since his death ten years ago.  They weren’t the same men he had left behind. 

Their relationship had always been strained and that hadn’t changed with time. Of course they loved their father, and he loved them, but the wounds of the past had never fully healed.

You met the Winchesters a couple years after John’s death.  They had saved you when a nest of vampires kidnapped you after slaughtering your family. At your insistence they had trained you to be a hunter and there was no looking back. You had spent the last six years fighting by their side.

Much to the boy’s relief, you and John got along well enough that you would pair up with him for standard hunts while they focused their attention on helping Cas find Lucifer. It took the pressure of having their dad breathing down their necks off of them while also ensuring you weren’t out hunting alone. 

* * *

 

The two of you were currently in Indiana investigating a series of missing persons.  Without a lot of clues to go on, John was on the laptop looking into the missing and you were flipping through lore books to see what you could find out about the area.  Finally a call came across the police band that a fresh body had been found.  Relieved to have a break in the case, you both quickly dressed in your FBI clothes and headed to the scene.

You were looking at the victim while John talked to the police when you moved her hair back and found the bite marks. _Vampires._   

Your vision started spinning and you felt the sweat beading on your forehead.  It was hard to get air in your lungs and the possibility of throwing up seemed likely.   

You had managed to keep your fear of the creatures that murdered your family and held you captivate a secret this long, you could get through this case.  Hunters couldn’t be afraid.  Fear led to mistakes and mistakes led to death.

When John joined you a few moments later you were proud of how calm you sounded when you updated him on your discovery.

In the car on the way back to the hotel John was speculating on possible locations for the vampire lair. “After dark we will head out of town, I remember seeing several barns when we were driving in.”

You licked your dry lips, tucking your hand under your thigh so he wouldn’t see it tremble.  “Whatever you think John.”

“Are you okay?” he asked, looking over at you.

“I’m fine. Just tired.”

“We should grab a nap, it’s going to be a long night,” he suggested.

You nodded and focused on calming your breathing.

Back in the motel you listened to John’s steady breathing coming from the next bed.  You debated leaving. Just walking out while he slept and hitching a ride to anywhere.  Could you really throw away six years of friendship with the Winchesters, all the hard work you put into being a hunter, and your loyalty to the brothers who saved your life over being afraid of something?

You knew you couldn’t.  So you sat there, listening to John’s snores and praying to Chuck that he give you the strength to get through this.

* * *

 

“I’ll take the front, go around the back,” John directed, blade drawn at his side. 

You nodded, the heavy rain plastering your hair to your head and making your clothes weigh more.

You drew your own blade and crept around the back of the barn. You had barely turned the corner when the first man, _vampire_ , jumped from somewhere above and landed less than ten feet in front of you. 

You could see his fangs and smell the blood.  You screamed, frozen to the spot when you heard the sound of another land behind you.

You wanted to swing your blade but you couldn’t move your arm. You couldn’t breath. All you could do was stand there and watch two more appear on either side of you and begin approaching.  They had you surrounded and they looked like they were going to finish what their kin started all those years ago.

And then John came around the corner, taking the first one by surprise and easily decapitating it.

While the others were distracted you should have moved, jumping in to help your partner, but instead you watched them advance on him.  You were still frozen, the panic coursing through your body so hard you thought you might pass out.

Two more vampires came out of the barn. “Y/N!” John yelled, trying to get your attention as he battled five vampires on his own.

You stared at him, tears in your eyes.  Your hand was so sweaty when you went to raise your blade it slipped from your grasp.

“Fuck. Y/N!” John yelled again, but still you stood, unable to move your limbs that felt like they weighed a hundred pounds each.

John was down to two vampires left and they were working him pretty good when you felt an arm go around your throat.  You could smell the blood on its breath and your knees buckled.  When your vision darkened you knew you were going to pass out.

“No!” you heard someone call out.  There was a scream from beside you and you were momentarily falling forward until a new set of arms embraced you, holding you tight.   You could smell whiskey and leather, not blood. _John._

“Come on sweetheart. Come back to me. Hear my heartbeat? Focus on that.”

You pressed your head against his chest, matching your breaths to the rhythm of his heart.

When you calmed down enough to open your eyes you looked around to see all the vampires were dead, the one that had grabbed you laying just inches from your feet.

You looked up at John as the shame, humiliation, and failure settled in.

“What happened?” he asked.

You looked at him, realizing you had let him down.  “I…..I….”

You backed away from him, turning away from his confused and slightly angry gaze and running.

“Y/N!” you heard him yell, his footsteps gaining on you.

You reached the car and were fumbling for the door when he grabbed your shoulder, spinning you around and pressing you against the wet metal.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he yelled, his face red.

“I need to go home John,” you replied. “Back to the bunker. I need to get my things.”

“Your things?”

“Take me home or I’m walking out of here and hitching,” you said, your voice trembling.

He dropped his hands to his side and stared at you.  You couldn’t meet his gaze and when he didn’t move to get in the car you moved to start up the driveway towards the road.

“Get in the fucking car,” he said, and you could hear the anger in his voice. You could feel it radiating off of him.  

* * *

 

The rain was so bad you couldn’t see two feet in front of the car.  You briefly looked over at John and saw his knuckles were white against the steering wheel. You weren’t sure if it was from anger or the control it was taking to keep the car on the road.

You looked back down at your hands, digging into your wet jeans as you tried to keep yourself calm. Your body trembling in your soaked clothing.

“What the fuck is going on?“ John asked, breaking the silence, his voice a measured calm.

“Just take me home,” you whispered.

“Talk to me,” he roared, the calm gone, his voice filling the car.

Tears sprang to your eyes but you stubbornly remained silent.

“You just froze. You could have died. Do you understand that? You weren’t trying to defend yourself, if I hadn’t come around the corner…..”

“I get it John. I let you down. I didn’t back you up.”

He turned to look at you. “In case you didn’t notice I’m fully capable of backing myself up.  But you weren’t trying to protect yourself,” he smacked the steering wheel with his hand and you jumped. “If I hadn’t been able to get to you…..”

“Stop it,” you exploded. “I fucked up. I know it. I just want to get back to the bunker.”

“So you can leave and…..” you saw the headlights in the field to your right illuminate your window only seconds before the truck crashed into the car, you felt your head hit the glass and the seatbelt push into your chest and then everything went dark.

“Y/N! Please wake up sweetheart,” you heard, warm arms around your body.  You slowly opened your eyes to find you were sitting in John’s lap on the road, the rain had finally stopped but you both were soaked and covered in blood and mud. You could see the car was totaled and there was an old truck and two dead bodies off in the field. 

“What happened?” you asked.

“Thank God,” John whispered, his hands going into your hair and his lips pressed to your forehead.

“What happened?” you asked again.

“Vampires. Ran right into us.  Didn’t see ‘em coming until it was too late. I killed them.”

“I’m sorry,” you said softly. “I was distracting you and pushing to hard to get home.”

His arms tightened their hold on you. “Will you please tell me what’s going on?”

You sighed. “Vampires murdered my family.  They held me captive for over a week and drained me of most of my blood.  If Sam and Dean hadn’t found me and brought me to Cas I would have died.  I am terrified of Vampires.  I couldn’t tell anyone because hunters can’t be weak. I thought I could handle it.”

“You should have told me. We are supposed to be partners,” John replied, his voice strained.

“I know. I didn’t have your back and I’m sorry. Why do you think I’m done? I can’t be trusted to be a good hunter.”

“You are an amazing hunter. One of the best I’ve ever worked with.  You have a weakness. That doesn’t make you any less trustworthy.  But you hid it from me. You walked in there knowing you couldn’t properly defend yourself.  I can’t have that.”

“I’m sorry John.”

He pulled back to look at you, his hands still in your hair. “You have to be honest with me.  I can’t lose you,” he said, voice rough.

You nodded and you could see his eyes move from your eyes to your mouth and then he was there, kissing you. Soaked and covered in mud in the middle of an accident scene. 

When he finally pulled away he cupped your cheek with his hand.  “I’ll call Dean to come get us.  If you still want to leave when we get to the bunker I’ll help you pack, but you would be making a big mistake. You belong with us. With me.”

You nodded, bring your lips to his for another kiss.  You had barely touched him when there was a rumble of thunder and then the rain started again.  “Can we both fit in what’s left of the backseat?” you asked, nodding towards the car.

“It will be a tight squeeze.”

“I’m okay with that,” you said, pulling him with you.

When the boys finally reached you several hours later they both blushed at the steamed windows and your hastily put on wet clothes.

“Not one word,” Dean said, holding his hand up when it looked like you were going to say something.

You nodded and quickly grabbed the dry clothes they brought, changing before climbing into the backseat of Baby.  You weren’t five miles down the road when you fell asleep, your head in John’s lap. 

Dean looked at his father in the rearview mirror. “You will take care of her.”

John nodded, stroking your hair as you slept.

 


End file.
